There was an old man of Dundee,
Who frequented the top of a tree;
When disturbed by the crows,
He abruptly arose,
And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee."
So tonight, when i couldn't sleep for some reason, i wrote eight limericks which adopt this form and here they are because this is obviously newsworthy. Initially they were meant to be in the style of Lear, but here i have been very inconsistent.
There was an old woman of York,
Who would eat with two knives and no fork;
When asked why this was,
She replied, "It's because
"There's a really cheap knife shop in York."
There once was a mayor of Chicago,
Who imposed a potato embargo.
He made people evade
All potato-based trade,
As they had plenty there, in Chicago.
There was a young lady from Dover,
Who repeated words over and over;
So in place of just "Cat,"
She would say, "Cat cat cat,"
And in place of "Dover," "Dover Dover."
A middle-aged woman from Basel
Took a liking to old Lorin Maazel.
They were married post haste,
And, with no time to waste,
They bought a small flat back in Basel.
A zealous young sister of Naples
Made a picture of Jesus with staples.
Having done so, she prayed
That her work be displayed
In full view of the people of Naples.
A brave ice-cream seller of Moscow
Would supply only frutti di bosco.
He honestly thought
That it all would be bought,
For the flavour is well liked in Moscow.
There once was a woman from Riga,
Whose spouse was surprisingly eager;
He remarked, "I don't know
"Why I feel like this, though
"It might be because we're in Riga."
A daring young harlot of Cork
Took her clothes off in front of a hawk.
Though the hawk was no prude,
The act still seemed quite rude
To the crowd of spectators from Cork.